A Lot Like Love
by ChuBerri
Summary: GaaXOro. On the quest for control, life has many twists and turns. What is more important to really living: Power ? Control ? Or something a lot like love ?  Rated For Reasons, Lemon Warning, Yaoi Warning
1. In The Minds

Gaara

Love. What is it really? Hardly more than a word. A word that makes us do stupid, foolish things. A word that deludes us, clouds our judgment. A word that makes us kill in cold blood, murders-war. A word that, for me, has never existed.

Even now, staring at this land -my land-, watching these people -my people-, I do not feel love. I am hard pressed to say I feel compassion of any kind. Disgust -maybe.

These deluded people, with their nonsensical notions. How am I to lead them, when they wonder so far away? Have they no mission, no purpose, in life? Are they so deluded by their fancy of a ridiculous notion such as love that they cannot see their own demise fast approaching?

Moreover, when did I agree to save them from themselves? I never said I could protect them from their false ideals of a silly love.

* * *

><p>Orochimaru<p>

Alone. Finally. Isn't this what I wanted? At least, at the moment. Something is missing. I've had this feeling before. I can shrug it off, force it from my mind. But I cannot understand it.

I have plans, I have talents. I have power. So much power. I need more. There are few who stand in my way. Few who have the ability to even attempt to stop me. And even those who do are easy enough to deal with.

I have loyal subjects. Follow me, I say, and they do. They are nothing, they mean nothing. They talk themselves up, talk over each other, but they mean nothing.

One boy, that's all it took to show them they didn't know me. They all thought they knew.

That's the problem. They think too much. I think. I think too much. I need.

This feeling, what is it? It does not leave. Even as my thoughts change subjects, even as my hands keep busy with the thick black ink on this scroll, the feeling is there. Nagging at me internally.

Maybe I have gone crazy. I have power, I have loyal subjects. Why do I feel…alone?


	2. So It Begins

He stood on the balcony, focused on the milling crowds below.

Today was a day just like any other. The villagers went about their business, shopping and working, cleaning and watching the children. No one glanced up and noticed him. It was almost as though they avoided the place. The number of visitors had dropped astronomically, the number of petitions and pleas dwindling to an all time low.

He'd never asked to be set apart from the others. He'd never asked for the demon inside him, for the pain he'd had to live through. Who were they to judge him, to fear him?  
>Part of him tried to say it was what he wanted. To be important, powerful, and feared. But he had to be honest, at least with himself. It made him upset, angered him beyond explanations. He could kill them all, with a simple motion from his hands. He could will their deaths, let them all suffer or kill them quickly. He could feed that lust inside, give in to the monster he truly was.<p>

But that would solve nothing. It was thoughts like that, the feelings, the passion, that made them fear him.

They knew not of it, though. He didn't broadcast his occasional, more recently often, thoughts of murdering the general lot of them. They feared him because… because of what they thought he was, not because of who he was. And, he had to admit, if they really knew him, they would hate him more for it.  
>"Lord Kazekage," The voice tore him from his thoughts.<p>

"Temari," He turned, walking back into the room.

"If you are ready to leave, I will accompany you."

"I told you I could travel just fine on my own," He ran a hand down his face, exhaustion showing for a nanosecond on his features.

"Please, Lord Kazekage, the thought of you undefended is highly frowned upon."

"By who?" _Not these people. My own people. To see me dead, they would be happy. They do not flinch at the idea._

"She's going with you, and that's final, Gaara. You either accept her, or accept an entire crew, with scouts and guards."

"Kankuro!" Temari hissed in warning.

Gaara eyed them both, then nodded. "If you are ready, then let us leave."

Temari turned, daring a slight smile at Kankuro, before leaving the room, Gaara slow to follow.

"You will watch over the affairs here?"

"As always, Brother. Try to relax some. Maybe that hyperactive blonde can convince you to stop being so tense," He grinned.

Gaara shook his head, leaving Kankuro to take his place on the balcony. Perhaps, with him gone for the week, the people would inform his brother of their needs.

* * *

><p>"Lord Orochimaru," Kabuto bowed. "I have prepared the room, as you instructed," He shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose, waiting for his compliments.<p>

"Which room?" Orochimaru demanded, not bothering to turn to look at the underling. He continued writing, each fluid hand motion revealing another deep, liquid black mark on the scroll.

"In the south quarters," Kabuto tried not to show his annoyance.

After a moment of silence, Orochimaru glanced up. "Dismissed," He waved a hand, as if shooing off a fly.

"Do you need him?" Kabuto blurted suddenly.

"Are you questioning me?" Orochimaru's eyes flashed in annoyance. This simply wouldn't do.

"My Lord, I only meant, there are others," Kabuto stammered over his words. "More powerful, that would be much better for you. He, he is useless. He has no ties, no bonds to power. He isn't like the Uchiha. He isn't even useful as a future vessel to you. He is merely a complication."

"He has power, beyond what you are willing to recognize," Orochimaru stood, narrowing his snakelike eyes to glare at Kabuto. "You had best be off," He settled back into his seat as Kabuto scurried away. How dare the boy call his plans useless.

* * *

><p>"It's just useless!"<p>

Temari glanced over in shock. "Gaara, what is it?"

Gaara sighed, his eyes on the ground as they walked. "Even Naruto… He has friends. He is a jinchuuriki, but the people don't fear him like they did… Like they do me…"

Temari arched a brow, pausing to lean on her fan. "You know, Gaara, they only fear you because you will them to."

Gaara shot her a questioning look.

"You stand there, alone, looking all dejected. It's a bit intimidating. The village, we all support you,"

"They do not." Gaara interrupted.

"We do."

"The reports have never been so low. No one dares to enter the same building as me."

"That isn't true. Perhaps the reports are low because we are in a time of peace."

Gaara shrugged, continuing to walk.

Temari swung her fan over her shoulder and fell into step.

"Shikamaru, huh?"

"W-What?" Temari looked surprised.

"That's why you insisted."

Temari blushed lightly. "No, I… We're just friends."

Gaara glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. "He is…talented."

"What about you?" Temari teased lightly. "How about Sakura?"

Gaara fought back the urge to shiver. "Too loud,"

"Hinata?"

"Too quiet,"

"Ino?"

"Too intimidating,"

"Tenten?"

Gaara found excuses for every candidate thrown at him as the two walked.

He was glad for the trip. No one said being Kazekage would be so draining. He almost wished Kankuro or Temari would have claimed the position. They were, after all, older.

"Stop," Temari held her fan slightly aloof, moving into her fighting stance.

Gaara eyed her and looked around. He couldn't see anyone.

"Gaara!"


End file.
